When Elaine and Dan are together they love to cook and climb trees
To their backwoods love shack they both have the keys
They cook in the kitchen and in other rooms
They’re creative with their inventive special va va vooms
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But yesterday they both wound up with poison oak
Deep down inside Elaine and Dan are city folk
They go to the country only on weekends
It’s just the two of them – they have no woodland friends
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But I guess I should take that statement back
There’s a still behind a neighboring shack
They’ve never met the old human who lives there
But he left them a note saying he has moonshine to spare
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When they drink it they can’t feel the itch of their rashes
Also in their beef stew – they add some splashes
They must forgo the intimacy tonight
They won’t add more itches they’d have to fight
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They’ll wine and dine the next time they come
And they’ll share with their fun neighbor some most excellent rum
It’ll be an uncomfy ride back to the city
Neither Dan nor Elaine are in the mood to be witty
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They pack their leftover pastitsio in the cooler
They have plenty for next door neighbor Lady Hillary Hewler
And no stop this time for Italian sandwiches at Amato’s
Elaine likes hers best with no to-mah-toes
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They pick up their lovely lab at her fabulous sitter’s
And they have three cats and a chameleon – they sure love critters
Also no market to pick up some cheese
They just want to get home – they’ve started to sneeze
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Later Dan’s in the kitchen baking chocolate cake
Elaine’s in a cool bath for her rash’s sake
Dan brings her a gin and tonic
Her itch is making her feel demonic
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When she gets out of the tub – Dan’s kind of in the mood
Elaine eats some cake and checks on her animal brood
She decides she’s good to go
So even though they scratch – they can’t say no
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Rebellious Hazelnuts 